That's right..I celebrated my 36th birthday on Wednesday and it was a great day.
My lover took the day off. We dropped mr. memphis off at a friends (thanks E.A) and then we were off.
at the movie!
We hit a few places for a few things and then of course...to the movies.
We saw "The Rise of the Planet of the Apes"...it was pretty darn good. I love watching movies and so does my man...so it was a good morning.
We then had lunch at Red Lobster and just enjoyed one another company. My love language was filled that day... QUALITY TIME!
Around 2pm we headed home for the kids and then off again to Costco for a few little things.....which always turns into more than you need. I have a love/hate relationship with that store.
Later...I got many nice phone calls, texts, a hiliarous and disturbing JibJab card from my MIL, and even got to skype my parents in Samoa.
When I woke up the following day...I was suppose to run a few miles with my sweetie...but we slept in. It felt nice, but I was feeling like I missed a chance to run.
But, I decided to hit snooze as well and run once the kids were off to school. Let me just say...running at 8am in AZ in August (monsoon season) really just plain and simple..SUCKS!
I pushed my little Memphis boy in the stroller and came home so gross and hot. He had a ball..eating grapes, drinking water, throwing out granola bars and riding in the carriage. Anyhow, as I ran I kept thinking about a friend of mine that is doing a triathlon in a few weeks and she asked me to go with her. I really thought about it, until she said you have to swim 26 laps. That was, in itself, a good enough reason to NOT do it. Besides I am committed to something else that weekend. (wait till I post what I am doing that weekend...can't wait...so EXCITED)
Anyhow...yesterday morning I thought about all the reasons I am not thrilled with swimming 26 laps. Breathing quick short breaths in water, panicking because I didn't breath right, putting my feet down...just anxiety comes over me a bit.
My sister has asked me to try one with her as well...but the darn swim....yuck.
Once, I finished my run yesterday...I came home and just laid on the cold tile floor, pondering the whole idea of it all.
I decided today was going to be the day to face that challenge.
I walked upstairs got my little swimsuit on, packed up Mr. Memphis and off I went to the clubhouse.
I checked little guy in to the daycare for one hour and set off to see what I could do in an hour, in the pool.
When I got there...I ran into a lady I know from church. She was just leaving and informed me that she and her daughter had just swam a mile. WHAT!!! It's about 66 laps. I told her I was going to shoot for 6 laps. In my mind...I went to see if I could swim those 26 laps, but didn't want to be accountable to her later...so I kept it to myself. What if I didn't finish 26? What if I didn't finish 16 or 10?
I knew I would have to stop between laps to catch my breath...but I was going to get 26 laps in before my hour ended. I know that's a long time ...but I just didn't know what to expect.
Once I got in..I swam 4 laps and was huffing and puffing pretty good by the end of just a few minutes. While I tried to catch my breath and regroup my mind around how this might be harder than I think...an elderly man, that had been swimmming caught my attention with a few casual questions.
Over the next 15 minutes, he ended up teaching me a few skills that saved my bacon. He told me he had swam for years and then informed me of how to kick properly and breath a certain way so my legs don't drag me down.
Let me tell you...once I started focusing on those few tips...I was feeling so much more comfortable. Still working hard on catching my breath...but I got to 20 laps and felt good. I looked at my time and realized I had 15 minutes left. So I had to do 6 more laps to get those 26 laps in.
I swam 6 more and felt good.
Then I looked at my watch and saw I had 8 minutes more...so I thought
"go to 30...just an nice even number".
So I put the goggles back on and did 4 more laps. Then I thought "do 6 more laps to represent your new age".
SO...I did!
I did 36 laps.
Then...I looked at my time and was over by 3 minutes....but something inside me said "beat your age" So I did 2 more laps to show myself that my age is not me! NOW, listen...I stopped between almost every lap to center myself...but...I did it!
I am a freak, I know!
But, I am proud of my freakiness, and that I accomplished something that kind-of scared me. I wasn't afraid of drowning, I knew I could put my feet down at any time. But what is scary to me is not doing something super good and trying something that might make me look like a fool.
Why do I let things like that discourage me so?
(shrugged shoulders here)
I am proud to be 36 years old.
MAN...that number looks like such an old number...but I don't feel it!
I guess, then, it's not an old number.
I am excited to give swimming another try, next week!
Oh...back in January, me and my 3 sisters made a commitment to run a half marathon. We decided on the Bryce Canyon Half.
A few of my sisters had ran this a few times and another sister had ran a few other halves...but this was my first! I was so excited to run it for so many reasons.
reason #One...to know I can do it.
I love the way I feel when I finish something that pushes me to a different place. I have been running for that very reason. To see where I can take my mind, body and soul. I have been thinking about running a lot lately. Since this race, I have lacked in motivation to get out there. I am wondering what pushes me...what keeps people running every day. Running itself is some what enjoyable but I will say that it's not really addicting to me.
The addicting thing about the run is finishing.
It's scary, sometimes to me, when I start a run...am I gonna finish strong and be excited about how I did that day or mad because I wasn't fast enough or strong enough or what ever. I think, I think to much about it all.
I need to find a different mind set. BUT...I love the way running make my body & mind feel..strong and healthy. So...I must continue.
This race was something that made me dedicated to something every morning...for only me. I felt selfish some Saturdays..out running by myself, while the kids were home. But when I would finish...they were all still sleeping...so I got over that and really loved it.
reason #Two....to have some time with ONLY my sisters. I love it when we, sisters, accomplish something together. Since I got married..I have lived away from my family. They do things together once in a while. They run together, bake together, hike together, talk face to face, watch each others children...it's time with one another I don't get. So this was a time I have been looking forward to for months.
Anyhow..to me..having just our time with NO interruptions was something I was longing for. I love being around them so much. We are all so different and yet so much a like....I love it! We have a good time. My 2 sister in laws were going to run with us as well...whom I LOVE just as much...but one lives in GA and the other made a commitment to her stake to help with a pioneer trek. So it was the 4 of us.
We left town around 5pm and headed to Bryce. We arrived, picked up my oldest sister at a campground, drove to Henriville to pick up our packets and then off to dinner.
We drove around to many different places...but it being a tourist place...things were either packed or 25.00 for a plate. We were not interested in either. Finally..Subway was our place for nourishment. We ended up eating at 9pm (Utah time) and headed to the hotel. Got settled and visited for a few and then by 11pm...were in our beds trying to sleep. Oh, yeah..we had to wait for the toilet man to come fix our potty. POOR GUY!
1130 pm we were all snoozing. 2 am..I was up, wide-eyed and NOT going back to sleep.
As many times as I visualized attending the Temple, Visualized me sleeping, thought about the peaches in the cooler next to the ice and the milk that my sister bought that would be warm for her breakfast, and anything else I could run through my brain. I tried music to sleep, meditation, praying and just picturing the stars and a black universe. NOTHING was putting me to sleep. I stayed awake...along my sister till 5am (4am AZ time). By then...everyone else was up and at em and we were preparing to get to the starting line.
I had to kneel down and pray that I might have the physical & mental strength to not worry about not sleeping, but finish strong and find all I could inside me to do my best and use no excuses.
5:45am we were having our last minute preparations and knelt down as sister to pray for our day to be joyous and that our feet will be guided in strength and we will finish happy. 5: 54 am We walked out our door and started our .5 mile walk to the starting line. We knew we would be late crossing the line because we could hear them starting the race and we're not there yet.
My older sister mentioned that it really didn't matter because we had a chip on our shoe that clocked us from start to finish...so being 6 minutes behind the first person that crossed the line...it wouldn't matter.
That put my mind at ease and I felt much more relaxed.
6:04 am Three of the four of us crossed the starting line together. We high-five and were on our way. I didn't see my sisters again the entire race. I was torn about this. I wanted to run with them for the company of it...but my mom reminded me that we needed to experience this on our own, at our own pace and focus on what we were getting out of it. I LOVED IT!
I Started the race feeling great...no issues.
In fact there was a time when I was running down into the valley. A place people call "the Dump" and it looks a lot like these photos.
On my IPOD, at this very time was this song...
I know that it's a love song...and I was thinking of my love at this time...but the words that just hit me were "Do you feel Alive?".
I was only into this race about 1.7 miles but...I heard that and remember saying to myself... YES..I feel Alive!.
Looking out over the beauty of the valley, feeling my body moving and just at peace....it was cool.
It was all cool..in fact we started our run with the temp being about 47 degrees.
I LOVED IT! cold nose, cold hands and warm body.
MILE 3...My belly felt like it was being torn open...just below my belly button. I needed a bano and fast. I stopped at a port-a-potty...only to see the line 7 people deep and my time was ticking away. So, off I ran hoping there was a bathroom soon.
Mile 4.5.... was the mossy caves and again a line of 5 deep. I remember they had bathrooms back off the road for hikers...I ran there with only 1 person in line...I waited. OH the Smell! The chemicals in the place burnt my throat and I left coughing and not able to finish my purpose. (sorry for the details, but it was all part of my experience). So off I ran.
Mile 8....I found 4 port-a-potty's on a trailer with nobody in line. OH...I MUST ENTER!
With better success...I was back on the road. I hated thinking of the time I was wasting...but so necessary. At this point...I made it a mental point to NOT look at my watch and just run to finish. I knew I was behind where I wanted to be...but with situations that required my attention...I had to forget the time and run to enjoy.
Only .5 mile from this point was where I felt my body being pushed by some other force than my own. I felt strong and wasn't in need of help (as far as I knew) but...I got it and must of needed it more than I thought. Maybe I needed to know I wasn't alone and that I was being accompanied.
Mile 9....I ran past the Cemetery and gave a glance to the family.
Mile 10...My body was in a groove and feel super...but my mind said "it's 10 miles, you re good...STOP"
I remember my leg slowed for only one step to a walk and that made me mad...and I sad "GO". I remember something my mom told me "the only way to get to where you re going is to keep moving".
At this point I was distracted by beautiful green fields with pink cliffs behind, that I know my dad ran through as a kid. It put a lump in my throat.
That was a good thought. I was missing my dad.
Mile 11...I ran into my bro-in-law's brother and his wife. I trailed them for a bit and visited a minute and then off I went.
Mile 13...I was feeling good.
My legs were sort of numb...but still feeling good.
My breathing was good.
My feet were good.
I knew the finish line was just a minute or two away and then I saw my 2 sisters standing on a corner ready to encourage me. At this point I felt great...but when my sisters joined my sides it was like my brain gave out and I remember thinking (really loud) "Robbie, help me!!! How can I do this??? Robbie, Help me!!!"
I broke down in my brain...but my body Spirit took over and I finished the race strong and so so Happy. As soon as I stopped, had the volunteers cut the chip off my shoe, collected my medal and grabbed a water..my belly started screaming at me to find the nearest out house. I was on the run again!
Enough of the toilet talk.
I did give a notice to my time...it being 2:11. I was slightly disappointed about it...but then realized...I FINISHED!
My sisters and I all found each other and sat on the grass that has held many a family reunion for our family. We looked over the pink cliffs that were above us and this brings me to my number 3 reason for running this race.
reason #Three....to spend some time...if only a few hours...in my daddy's stomping ground. My father was raised in the small towns just 13 miles east of Bryce Canyon. My grandparents and greats and aunt & uncle & cousins lived and live there now. So...having lived away from the area since I got married and only visited a few times since, I loved being there among the red, pink & white mountains. Oh, the beautiful alfalfa fields, the beautifully manicured cemeteries that my family rest in. IT was like going home all over again. There were times in this run...one in particular where my body was being pushed by the spirits of family members cheering me on. I remember exactly where I was when I felt like my body was in a strange state of being. It was as if I could of looked behind me to see a person giving my shoulders a nudge. Like I was being touched with the softest hands all around me...Like my feet were barely touching the ground. I remember a smile came across my face as if I were part of side show and everyone knew what was happening....but nobody said anything. It was strange and special. Later...talking to my sisters a few of us had similar experiences. I think we all observed and paid respects to our family that were in the 2 cemeteries that we ran past. It might sound strange...but it's our experience.
As we finished our race, collected our gear we jumped on a bus and headed back to our hotel for clean up duty. On the bus we happen to sit next to these young 23 year old guys. They were #1 & #2 in the race...the first guy set a new course record. He ran the 13 miles in 1 hour and 4 minutes! WHAT!!! I was inspired.
All in all...it was a wonderful experience. One I can't wait to do again next year.
Love you girls and thanks for going with me.
After the race...and yes...we ate those Jalapeno Cheetos! Yummy
Shelby: Mom, what's for dinner (while the bowl is in front of her and she's eating) Me: It's called Pesto with chicken Shelby: Mom, is Pesto another word for no taste? Me: No, you smarty pants.
It turned out, everyone ate the tasteless food tonight.
Ran again this morning with much hesitation....fear of wetting the pants once more. However, I am happy to announce I was accident free. OH, I am a big girl now
This morning was better, didn't hurt as bad and I felt stronger. I questioned myself much this morning on why I am doing this. Why I want to do this? Then you get home and feel good about what you just did and remember it's a good thing.
I did it this morning...after 2 weeks of no running, eating like a fool and sleeping like I was back at girls camp...I ran again.
It was hard and it was painful and it felt nice!
I only ran 3 miles this morning...just enough to make myself hurt bad enough to teach myself a lesson on staying focused! The two weeks off was like I was some famished animal looking anywhere for nourishment...and looking in all the wrong places.
It started when I was driving home from Utah, by myself, and ate for 9 hours straight!! who does that?
Anyhow...I am back and am motivated to get back to not letting it hurt so bad.
Oh, also...the strangest thing happened to me today...it has never been an issue for me...but this morning when I stopped running in front of my house...I full on peed in my pants.... who does that?
Well we have returned from our 2.5 wk long visit to southern Utah...my home.
My girls have lived in Hurricane for only 4 months..and it was 6 years ago, but they claim this to be where they are from...it's funny!
We have been waiting for this trip since Thanksgiving and it was so worth the wait.
We had such a wonderful time visiting with family, swimming till we can hardly stand, eating till we want to puke, laughing till we wet thee ol' pants and just soaking all the scenery in.
What a good time.
I am sure my sisters and brother that lived there are glad we're gone...we kept them all occupied.
One thing that you can NOT pass up while visiting southern Utah is....
Have you ever seen rocks this color before? It's almost blinding!
This little hike is an easy walking trail for all ages. And at the end of the trail you find a little pond that the kids LOVED to swim in.
With the older girls...I took them up the trail just a bit farther to a deeper pond that they were able to jump in.
This is a place I used to visit quite often in my younger years. We would take our bikes out there and ride, hike and swim. It's just unreal!
After our little hike and swim. We, my two younger sister and their children, gathered around a picnic table and had ourselves a little picnic under the cottonwood trees. We watched birds that were colored bright yellow, red and baby blue...we fed the wildlife, (some very fat squirrels), and we let the kids search the stream near by for crawdads.
Don't mess with Helayna, she's super tough!
You have known all your life that she can whoop you...don't push your luck with this woman.
Espeically after watching her take on Dusky, Sisalee and Nicole in the pool!....well nicole can be whooped by Creed so that's not to scary. But, this lady is SERIOUSLY the kind to want to have on your side!
Keep that in mind.
Sincerely,
Me
*the story behind the photos*
It all began on the 23rd of July...the final hours of our annual Goulding reunion. We all decided to finish it off with, of course, FIREWORKS.
All the kids, adults and animals sat back on the grass while a few of the nephews and my bro stood in the road, only 20ft away from all of us, and lit the little fountains and screamers. The ones you use every year, safely and with no harm.
However...they lit one with rockets in them that shot super super high in the air. The ones you see blocks and blocks away and wish you were closer to see who was cool enough to buy those.
Well as we watched we all ooohhh'd and aaahhh'd at the fantastic show. I even told my brother a story of when I was around 7 or 8 yrs old and was hit by a shell that was about the size of a half coconut from the cities firework show.
Not 2 minutes later we heard a scream...but assumed it was the reactions from the show. 30 seconds later I hear my SIL say "no more fireworks, Helayna has been hit in the face with something". I turn and see my lil sis on the front porch with her hands over her face and blood just dripping from her hands. I wasn't sure if I should go to her and see if she had lost a eye or her nose or a mouth full of teeth. BUt I went...I was late....every sibling was there by her side with towels, sitting her down on a chair, pulling all the kids around the back of the house so they didn't see the porch full of blood.. I got to her and noticed her nose had a good size cut on it and her nose was bleeding profusly. My big bro sat her down and started investigating the damage...why my lil brother went to investigate the problem. Big Bro decided her nose wasn't broken...but she mentioned her vision was impaired in her right eye...a concern, of course. He and her husband administered a blessing to her with all of us feeling much better about the situation. Lil Bro found a shell ,where she was standing, about 3 or 4 inches long and about 1.5 inch in diameter that had not exploded in the air and then came down from the sky like a bullet and nailed her right between the eyes. This thing was not light...it was packed full of whatever they use.
After all was accounted for and we were all in the house..her sweet husband decided to take her off to the hospital for a good look over. Especially with her eye having that dark spot
SO...with 6 stitches, 2 purple eyes, 1 swollen nose, eyes feeling better and teeth tough as nails...she survived a fight with a dang firework!
We all know she was so blessed and lucky it didn't hit her .5 inch in either direction.
Luke and I had a wonderful, amazing and such a spiritual experience at the Mesa Temple last week. I can not go another day without writing it down.
Let me just say....the process for us to get to them Temple on this day seemed like it took forever. It started at 5am with a run with my lover and then breakfast with the kids.
Once on the rode...only 2 miles away...we get a call from home, with kids crying in the background that there is a meltdown at home. We turn around and go back to put the kids in order, again, and off we go once more.
We had a few appointments to get to before the Temple, a few family members to hug, a little Memphis to drop off at the Sister-in-laws house and then off to the Temple.
As we drove there we were both trying to stay positive and upbeat, with our energy a little low due to our early morning...we were both fearful of napping during the session.
Once there we approached the check-in desk I noticed 8 different signs set out on the desk that read
"Patrons, Sisters or Brothers needed in the Sealing Room" It was obvious where we were going.
We got dressed and headed to the Sealing Check-in station and were surprised to see 7 or 8 people waiting...with the same idea in mind.
When I approached the desk I noticed we were going to be placed in the "next" group...which meant we had to wait for another 4 people or more to show.
We sat and waited and waited. THEN...a couple came in, the Lemmon's. They looked like they could be related to me. I had this feeling of family when I saw them. They resembled a few members of my mother's family thatt I knew I should know...but didn't!
I felt so tired, slouched over in my chair and my mind couldn't stay focused on just one conversation in that small room. I tired to listen so carefully to Luke as he explained life, love and world peace...but my ears took me to the "lemmon's" conversation. I heard something about a sealing of a family member and then a few "should I do It today?" questions were thrown around. Still trying to focus on my Love but being distracted by others....I noticed the woman get up and leave with a Sealer.
A few more people trickled in over the next 10 minutes and then Mama Lemmon returned. She sat quietly and talked with her husband about some sealing that they were going to do today.
Our group finally arrived...
Me, Luke, the Lemmon's, A single woman (who brought names of her own), a young man and an elderly man. I thought to myself that it was a unique group...only 2 "couples" really were there. After my experience on this day...I wondered....who were we all to these people we sealed? Could we of been friends in heaven? Could we of made a promise to them long ago to do this work? For some reason it was like we were all lead there that day.
Once we were all accounted for, the Sealer marched us to the elevator and told us "this thing has a mind of it's own. Sometimes you up where you want and some times you go down to the basement". Luckily we made it to the right floor and we made our way out to a BEAUTIFUL Sealing room.
While preparing ourselves for the sealings the man in charge told us that this room we were in was the only sealing room that was origianl to the temple...as far as the walls and space. It was amazing and such a warm, strong Spirit there.
The Sealer also mentioned to us that there was going to be a live sealing today. I heard what he said...but it didn't register to me at that moment what it meant. He proceeded to ask the Lemmon couple if they would like to ask someone to help stand proxy for her mother and grandmother during the sealings.....she looked at me and asked if I would do it. I was HONORED & overcome with the amazing opportunity that I was going to get to experience.
Mama Lemmon was given counsel and was told that her parents were happy for this day and that she was doing a wonderful thing. She was also told that we can only give this blessing to the ones that have passed on...it's their responsibility to accept it or not...BUT...if they don't accept the sealing....it will in NO way take any of the blessing away from her as a child of theirs. What a cool promise!
So we began.
Bro & Sister Lemmon stood proxy for Sister Lemmons Parents & Grandparents for each of their Sealings. Then I was able to stand proxy for Sister Lemmon's mother and Grandmother while she was sealed to her parents and then she stood proxy for her mother as she was sealed to her grandparents. confused?
Well...needless to say....it was such a wonderful lesson to me of our family unit. The strength and blessings that come to those children who have been sealed to their parents. What a wonderful and again OVERWHELMING spirit that filled this room!
I also need to mention that we were able to take part in sealing, if I remember right, of 4 sisters and 2 brothers to their mother and father. These were names of the single Sister that was there. She was grateful and so happy to have that family together.
Numerous others were sealed that day and I will not forget what a joy it was to picture them all in Heaven embracing one another. Some might accept it and some may not...but the work has been done and it's up to them.
Now....to follow up the story of the Lemmon's.
During our session....the lights went off and then dim and then off again and finally settled. We were later told that a transmitter blew in Mesa somewhere knocking out power all over that area. It started to get warm in the room and a man told us the air conditioning was out and so we needed to just finish up and be done.
Once we finished we were then told the Temple was being closed due to power and air conditioning problems.
Later in the foyer, Luke and I ran into the Lemmon couple and I mentioned that they looked like family and that I knew some Lemmon's from my hometown. Brother Lemmon then told me that he has family in Hurricane Utah....um....where I am from. We tried to put names to faces to no avail....but then Mama Lemmon said to me "you both look so familiar to me....I don't know where I know you both, but I do". She then informed us that they had tried to have this sealing done last month but things just didn't work out for them.
I was so glad, so glad, so glad that I was able to have that experience!
These are the winners!
After 3 pairs of shoes in just short of a month, numb toes, slushy heels, blisters on the ends of my toes, ankles that are sore....I finally settled on a pair that seems to be just for my crazy, knobby jointed, wide feet! So...we'll see how they do.
I ran in them this morning and they felt great...but it was only a 3 mile run.
Cross your finger and your toes that I can make these puppies do the trick.
