The camel's back was broken tonight!

I am exhausted to tonight but my mind won't stop going.

Last year I was in the middle of a book and that book that I was reading had been super good and I had been enjoying that book...until this one part happened. It disturbed me, it offended my Spirit. It ruined my day and the rest of my week. I really let it get to me and should of just let it go. I remember how I felt for the next few weeks...like a dark cloud was hanging over my head. Not that I was grumpy or felt in the dumps, but that Satan was on my heels for some reason. I was reminded that Satan wants us so bad. I was feeling very close to the Spirit so maybe that's why Satan was also very much there.

The past month has been sort of like that for me. It's like when you really try to do better, be better, think better, act better, talk better and Satan is there to put a bit of a damper on that good feeling that comes along with choosing the right.

A month ago, I took my children to the swimming pool here in our area. I have to admit...going to the pool most of the time is like attending a Sport Illustrated Swimsuit shoot. There are ladies all over the place that are in their teeny tiny bikini's with their "selves" hanging out. When my kids were younger, it didn't effect me as much, actually I don't really remember noticing much.
NOW...my girls make comments and then there are my little innocent boys that see these people dressed immodest. It's very hard to keep my children's attention on something else, when you have to walk by it to your chair. What's really getting my goat is little girls, I am talking 5yrs to 18 yr old girls in teeny tiny swimsuits. For the longest time I didn't think much of it, until last month when my daughter and her friend were walking along the side of the pool.
My daughter is very modest and her friend is as well....but this day her friend had a bikini on, that she was a bit uncomfortable in, I thought. Well, I sat on the chairs under the umbrellas, keeping quiet and just watching my oldest girl and her pal walk by talking, laughing and having a great time. That's when I had an eye opening, humbling, sickening experience.
 As I sat there watching these two beautiful young girls walk by, I watched how some of the teenage  boy lifeguards watched them walk by. I was sick. I thought...if those boys are looking at those girls like that....what about those old perverted men. YUCK! 
After swimming I made a point to have an open conversation with all my kids about being modest and how we want people to see us.
Oh...if they could only stay Young forever.

Then, a week or so later, I took my kids to a different pool. A pool that is closer to the house and much quieter. It's more of a family pool and just our style. While there I watched this very young couple...maybe 16 or 17 yrs old come into the pool area. They walked our way and get a seat right next to us and start making out on the chairs. I was so offended and my kids just sat there and pointed. I was embarrassed for my family. I sat and got so mad that I had to do it....
I told the lifeguard to ask them to stop or leave. By then...it started to rain and so I collected my children and went home.
I couldn't stop thinking about that Young girl and how she was being seen by the on looker. I felt bad for her mother that didn't know that her young daughter was down at the local pool in this littlest swimsuit, with her boyfriends hands all over her...making out. I felt bad for my own family that we has to see that. It's not that kissing in public is bad or EVIL. It's that these are young kids and it was more that just a small kiss.

My friend is in young woman's in our ward and during a conversation just the other day she told a group of us mothers that the young girls now a days have very low self worth. The ones that you think are the strongest are the ones that say they can't look in the mirror at themselves because they don't like what they see. It broke my heart.

So here comes the straw that broke the camels' back.

Tonight , again while at the pool with my kids, we all swam amd were having having a good time.
For some reason my attention was drawn to a couple on the left of me sneaking a kiss every once in a while....and then a couple on my right side of me were making out.
I don't know why but my attention kept going to this young couple on my left. I guess it was the fact that while they were closer to where I was sitting,  the young guy said to his girlfriend "why you being such a moron?"
It took me back for a second and I had to really think hard if I really heard him say that to her. So, I watched closer and listened better. I kept watching him drag her under the water while holding her arms under his. When they would surface she would say "let me go" very quietly and then he would drag her back under that water. He would try to kiss her and she would turn her head and then he would drag her back under again. I thought maybe they were playing for a minute until I saw her come up and push his face away with her hand. He didn't let go and then said another very offensive comment to her and took her back under the water, this being maybe the 10th time. 
That was it for me....I had been fuming for some time and needed just the right person to
release the Cracken on.
I made sure my kids were all okay and started over to that young couple. On my way there I could see she was trying to get loose from him...not fighting, but trying to get her arms freed and then he took her under again. I got about 10 feet away and yelled at him to "let her go". He turned and looked at me, while holding her under and then she surfaced. I don't think he was trying to drowned her, but he was for sure trying to make a point that he was in charge....and that's what made me anger.
Finally he looked at me and saw me standing over him on the edge of the pool.
 I said "DUDE, LET HER GO, LEAVE HER ALONE". And his response is so maddening....he said to me "she's my girlfriend".  In my mind I thought..."OH, so that makes this all okay. Okay, go ahead and treat that other human being like that....because she is your girlfriend".
I got down closer to his face so I could see him better and said "I don't care who she is to you, LEAVE HER ALONE. I have been watching you drag her under the water and call her names, BE DONE".
I couldn't believe what I was watching as I was talking to them, he just kept looking at her saying "I love you, sorry, I love you". I just about grabbed him by his hair and shook him...and then do the same thing to her. I got even closer, right down to the edge of the pool so I could see her eyes and asked her if she wanted me to walk her to her car or do something to help her. She look at me and said "no, but thanks." I knew I needed to be done, but just couldn't be...I told her to walk away for 5 or so minutes and take a break from one another, but this wasn't acceptable and he shouldn't be treating her that way. THEN I walked off saying something else like "DUDE, let her be by herself for a minute and if he didn't leave her alone. I am sure there were plenty of people here at the pool that would back me up in helping her."
WHAT WAS I THINKING, volunteering people I don't know to help me?
I went to my chair and counted my children and then just watched. I saw her swim across the pool with out him, get out, dry off and get ready to leave...and then he followed her. I walked over to the lifeguard and asked him to follow them to their car to make sure she was safe..so he did. When get came back in the pool he informed me of a brief conversation that he had them the boyfriend. The lifeguard told the boyfriend to not use such offensive language in the pool around the kids. I was happy that he was trying to protect my kids...but it was like he was saying "IT"S OKAY if you call your girlfriend names, just don't do it in PUBLIC".

AARRRGGG! What is wrong with people these days?
What is it with young girls and allowing boys to treat them like that? I don't understand it?
I am sick and wish I knew what happened or what is going on with that girl.

So...my mind goes back to all of these different things that are happening in my life. My mind instantly goes to my 2 girls and 3 boys and how we are all effected by other peoples choices. We might not be physically effected....but their minds are effected. I know I can't stop the world from happening and my children from being exposed to it...but I can be the MOM that they see standing up for the right choice. I can try hard to teach them how to make a good choice, a better choice.
I love being surrounded by good family and good friends and people that strive to do the same thing as us...do better.

I need to go say my prayers and try to clear my brain.
Kiss your kids extra long tonight!