STG Marathon 2012 committed!

Tonight I did something that I feel like is going to change my outlook on life.
I am already seeing it effect me and it's still 5 months away.

These past 2 months maybe longer I have been awaiting the registration to open for the St. George marathon. It opened on April 1st and I delayed.

I have been thinking about running a marathon for maybe a year....but didn't really really think I would until the first of this year. I can't say I have always wanted to run one...but I think in the back of my head I can honestly say I have thought it would be cool for many years. I remember writing this post and I remember the way I felt when I watched different people accomplish this difficult goal. I had a bit of jealousy in my soul...maybe it wasn't jealousy but yearning to be in their shoes. Yearning to feel that feeling of accomplishment. 
I long for it.
I remember seeing a photo or a commercial of a young lady running in a forest somewhere. There were leaves dancing behind her from her feet's path and she had a sense/look of peace on her face. I wanted that. I wanted to enjoy a kind of running that  didn't look painful. I think you will always have pain when you run...as far as it not being easy....but peace in my head and body is now what I strive for. I know "anything good is worth fighting for".
I am so interested in pushing my body/mind & spirit to new places.
I am still very timid when it comes to this for so many reason.
One could be failure.
One could be hard work. Not that I am afraid of hard work....but this is a choice I am making. Some things that are hard you HAVE to do because there is NO other choice. This is a conscience choice I am making and so it's gonna be hard.
One could be commitment to follow through all the way.

These aren't "could be's" they are "Are be's" not arby's.....but they "are" things that stop me from doing things that are uncomfortable and the things that could really push me and change me. It's hard to be uncomfortable and change....but I need a little of both.

So the past few weeks I knew I needed to register before it closed on may 1st. I knew I wanted to...but was nervous.
This week I feel like I have been sabotaging myself in different ways.
Eating ridiculously, Not getting up and running my regular schedule, Not running as far when I do, staying up late....it's like I have been unconscionably been proving to myself that I can't commit, I can't do this...see, you stayed up late. See, you ate 3 cupcakes. See, you slept in for the past 3 days. You can NOT be ready for this run.
That made me mad that I saw myself going there...so I did it!
Yesterday I filled out the form to register and did it real quick, so I wouldn't think about it to long. I hit the Submit button, and wouldn't you know it....my visa card numbers were put in wrong so it didn't complete the transaction. Another chance to back out???

I had to physically go back and re-enter the number again and recommit myself, almost double check my brain for that strength to really commit....I sat there with the cursor hovering over the submit button and then I remembered what inspired me to want to do this and I clicked the mouse and was on the roster.
OF course not as myself....because I didn't want to be put in the lottery...so I registered as my sis-in-law. It's cool...no name in the paper as myself...but the chance to say.."I finished a marathon".

Now I need to re-focus myself on all levels.
Mentally, physically and most importantly Spiritually! I feel so close to the Spirit when I am running. I pray every morning for strength and thank HIM for my body that can run. When I finish my run...I again say a quick pray of thanks for safety and health and strength to be patient that day...especially when I am tired!
I am excited, and I would be totally lying if I didn't say also super nervous, for the next 5 months of training.

This will be fun!
want to be inspired?
Watch this!!