does a dress bring grace?

Because life is to short to not have a few stories like this or the one I am about to tell you.

Oh, the fun of a warm Saturday in the Arizona Desert.
With the cactus blossoming and the birds of paradise in full color all around you.
With a nice cool swimming pool in walking distance, but instead you ride your bike. 
You ride your bike because your kids rode theirs and you thought it would be a fun little adventure to the pool in your swim attire, which just so happens to be a dress today.
After a few hrs of swimming, you start collecting all your belongings and you realize that there are leftover clothing from your children.
The same children that wore them to the pool, but have now abandoned them to get home faster.
You realize that your not walking, but riding your bike home with your dress, a borrowed book, phone in hand and an arm full of left over belongings. You remember it was going to be a fun adventure with your kids.  Except the fun adventure is way past because your kids hve all gone home 5 minutes earlier.

No problem! A nice slow ride home by myself.

When you get to your bike you see that your children, that have all left to go home, and left all their crap, have also messed with your gears on your bike.
You are now riding home in a dress, a fat book, your left arm full of clothes, phone in left hand and now your pedaling at 3 times the speed because your gears are set to low.
Half way home you think to yourself.
"Self, I can change these gears on the left handle with my right hand if I do it quickly and softly, while still moving".
So you attempt it as you are passing right in front of the 3 new houses that are being built and full of construction workers. When you do this it is instant trouble!
The handle bars start to shake and you let out a smallish panic cry.
Because you know way before it happens that....something ugly is about to happen.
You get yourself and the handle bars straighten out as your front tire hits the curb....sending your bike into another bout of trouble.
At this point you realize that you have to stop the bike and get a grip.
SO...you put your foot down to stop the motion of the bike but your front tire is still on the curb so your foot has to go farther down to the ground than you planned and that's when the real trouble hits.
Your front tire makes a hard dive to the left and your left pedal hits the back of your calf, launching you and your phone and your arm full of clothes, and that book, while wearing your dress over the handle bars of your bike.
Now, instead of you dropping everything in mid-motion to save your body you save the phone and your friends book and the clothes instead.
Some might say, including the owner of the book, that that decision was REAL SMART!
NOT ME! NOT smart at all!
You land on your belly in the middle of the road on top of your bike with your left arm still full of clothes and a death grip on that stupid phone. And you are sure the with the force itself that the back of your dress is now up the the back of your head, exposing your nice swimsuit bottom.
As you lay there you realize just how ridiculous you look and just how much your elbow, knee and both ankles hurt. Jumping to your feet and scanning the area you hope not to many people witness the tragic accident of stupidity and grace. And I say grace only because you are in a dress! 
Now your chain is off your bike and so you coast home to the safety of your own home.
And you have to explain to your dear husband why your knee is bleeding, elbow is skinned up and your ankles have purple bruises on them, already.
BUT YOU SAVED YOUR PHONE & the book!

bonus!