I have been mentally preparing myself all week. I ran 13.4 last weekend and knew this weekend would be a doozy. I was scheduled to run Saturday morning...but with many things that came up regarding church events. I chose to run this morning. Luke was taking the day off for my bday and I decided had the alarm set for 4am. The problem was I had my alarm to go off at 4am on Saturday...not Friday. So at 3:09am I woke up and saw I had another hour of sleep....great. So thrilled. I fell back into a very shallow sleep..just enough to have a crazy dream about Luke hiring a maid and I threw a major temper tantrum. I yelled and screamed that I could scrub my own toilets. Anyhow...my strange dream forced my mind to wake up..at 4:45am. I missed 45 minutes of running...that's nearly 5 miles. That's so much when you re on a slight time crunch. But..I slid out of bed onto my knees and had a quick prayer of thanks and safety. I knew it was going to be about 3 hours of running/jogging and quite possibly walking...I wouldn't be back till 8am. Just missing all my kids before school. I normally wouldn't feel to bad about Luke getting everyone up and lunches and bfast made. But, for some reason it didn't set well with me. But, I had to get my miles in and so...I was off.
Got all my gear on...sometimes I feel like a European in Zion National park. Camera, binoculars, fanny pack, tall socks with boots, their sun hat and then all the first aid kits and beepers and what ever they might have.
On this morning I had my sunglasses on my head (for when I was running back towards the west at the end of my run when the sun had finally made it's appearance for the day. I had my headphones all tucked away nicely throughout my shirt and out my sleeve. Those attach to my phone that is in a nice little pouch sock slid up my arm to my pit. I had my water belt strapped on around my waist with only one bottle. My route I picked put me by many gas stations for water stations...but there were about 7 miles of farm land with no liquid...so I put on the belt.
I had my snot rag, handkerchief that I tuck in my waist band of my shorts. I am not a good farm blower...so I require the etiquette of a white hankie to keep my nose clean through out my run. And of course it is sprayed with Tea Tree oil...to keep my nose moist and smells that are good. Okay...then I had my dang long ankle sock to protect my bum ankle. YES....I am totally a tourist on the road. I think I weight 10 pounds more when running with less clothes. It's a freak show.
Anyhow...all fueled up with my banana and water...I walk out the door to hear a really unfamiliar noise....RAIN. WHAT??
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I stopped on my door step with my hand on my hips, and a million thoughts came to mind.
Go back to bed.
What a wonderful gift
Oh, enjoy this....you'll be sorry if you don't
My shoes will get dirty
What if someone hits me because they are paying attention to the windshield wipers and can't see me?
Go back to bed and run tomorrow
You re gonna miss your kids from school
Just GO
So, I got a ziploc for my phone so I wouldn't ruin that....and off I went.
Not sure of what I was doing on the dark, wet roads. My mind was screaming...go HOME! Was this my spirit trying to protect me from some foretold accident evolving a car and me? Or was it just going to be really hard today?
I gave myself some timeline and parameters.
I would stay off certain roads that didn't have big shoulders if it was still raining when I got there.
I would be willing to cut my run short if I felt like I needed to, to keep safe.
I would listen to the spirit.
I got to mile 2 and was on a road with a narrow shoulder and it was raining. Had a few cars not see me till they were right on me...not cool. You know all those thoughts that come to mind in a matter of a second?
"go home and see your kids before they go to school."
"you don't wanna die on your birthday"
"that Hummer could do so much damage to you...if they would of smeared you"
"it's flippin raining and you're running next to these cars"
"But it's a gift from God, I must enjoy it"
So...I decided...today my Spirit and Body won the battle. I was cutting my run short and going home to see my kids before they left to go to school. Carter had made a comment yesterday that struck me. You're not going to spend your birthday with us kids? Creed has been having some anxiety about school and repeating "Memphis, please let me be you..I want to stay home with mom". Shelby just needs a mom to love her and Lainie loves me. I thought about how...of all the days I wanted to be with my kids...today was it.
Quitter? maybe
Lazy? Could be
Not determined to finish my weekly goal? Guilty
I quickly did a re-route of my run and figured I could get 10 miles in before I needed to be home to catch them before the bus. So...I did.
I loved hearing my phone tell me my time, mileage and pace. But I loved seeing my home more!
I didn't run my 17 miles on the 17th on my 37th bday...but I don't care!
When I got home and the kids were all off to school and Memphis just sits there with his face next to mine...like we can't live without breathing each others air....I realized how I might be pushing my limits a bit.
Not necessarily with running.
But, with connecting with my children and being present for them.
Then this morning I came across this.....so loved reading this. Especially when I cut my run short because......well, because I love my family and needed them today.
"Mothers who know do less. They permit less of what will not bear good fruit eternally. They
allow less media in their homes, less distraction, less activity that draws their children away
from their home. Mothers who know are willing to live on less and consume less of the world’s
goods in order to spend more time with their children—more time eating together, more time
working together, more time reading together, more time talking, laughing, singing, and
exemplifying. These mothers choose carefully and do not try to choose it all. Their goal is to
prepare a rising generation of children who will take the gospel of Jesus Christ into the entire
world" Do not try to choose it all!!!
1 comment:
Bueno. Very good for all of us moms to hear. Plus happy Birthday!!!
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