give me strength-update!

To update on my nuttiness from my bad running day extravaganza..


I ran 3 miles a few days later. I felt clear headed, enjoyed the sun on my face, enjoyed the fresh air, enjoyed my body in motion, enjoyed my tunes in my ears, enjoyed being distraction less, enjoyed my little boy sleeping in the jogger I was pushing, enjoyed the outside....and it was good!

I have to admit my mind was playing tricks on me, however I ran a conversation through my head that I had with my sister on that dreadful day of my last little bout with my head being so cloudy.
Our conversation was about my mind and my head fighting and how one is so strong at being weak and how it just wasn't right. She reminded me of a piece of the puzzle that I was missing and ignoring....

the Spirit part of all of me!
duh!
The strongest, most grounded, most reliable part of my being. The Part that I can always count on.
How did I forget that?

Anyhow,...It was a enjoyable run.
*good job, you!

The other night I was watching The Biggest Loser and was listening to this lady talk about walls that she has put up for herself. I knew exactly what she was referring to. I didn't have these walls about 4 months ago....before I started running. Now..I fear certain things. It's crazy. How did this happen?

Well, me and my sisters have been talking about running a half marathon...this one to be exact.. So the other night I registered myself and am dedicated to getter done! A Few years back me and my sisters did this....so I think this will be another great experience and adventure!
THEN...I registered for this run. I am breaking down those walls of fear that I have created for myself.

*good job, you!

Spring Breakation

We had all these grand plans to go straight to s. Utah for Spring Break and hike and hug our brains out. As Washington County Schools break was the same time as ours....which never happens. But with gas prices high and the checkbook low we decided to stay home this year and see how many things we could do for nearly free. Here is our list.

Monday: we woke up had bfast, pack all the kids in the car and head to our weekly vball games at the church. Afterwards we run a few errands and then head home to clean the house. Around 2:30 we went Swimming for a few hours..which is then followed by Baseball Practise for Carter and Track Practise for the girls. We reunite back at home at 7:30pm for a quick dinner and to catch our breath.
Monday night: My SIL and her 4 kids arrived late but ready to party on Tuesday.

Tuesday: Big Breakfast with yummy waffles, fried eggs and stuffed french toast. So good.
11:00ish - After bfast we all got ready and headed to the pool just down the road, that is NOT heated. The kids and I had ventured out earlier the week before and realized there was NO way we were going to dip into that ice pond. But...on this day we gave it another try and my niece didn't have any problem taking the plunge in the pool. She was so brave and daring...and COLD!
This pool was so cold that when I put my legs in up to my knees they went numb in a matter of a few seconds. BRRRR......
My children finally started pushing each other in and me bribing them with an ice cream cone...if they would only jump in. They would go back and forth from the jacuzzi to the icy cold pool.
Plus: they had a blast

Minus: I think Creed got sick from the back and forth deal. NOT COOL. *NOTE to self: Auntie Ruth did a cannonball jump into the pool only to find her breath was forced out by the tempature of the water.
12:30ish - Lunch at my home and my SIL were able to just sit and chat while the kids played.
3:00ish - Off to Costco and the Orange Leaf (self serve yogurt). We had never been to a place quite like this...it was nearly hazardous to my wallet. Luckily my SIL had bought us a Groupon for the joint and so we only paid $4.50 for all of us. AND...it was so good.! Thanks ruth.
6:00pm - We headed home and the Family from Mesa went their way.
We had such a wonderful time with one of the other Hallows families.
come back soon!

Wednesday: We all woke to a nagging mom to clean the house and then we went Swimming with the Chapples for a few hrs....Note to Self: Be-Utiful weather!!!
6:30 pm - Adult co-ed soccer at anamax. Luke and I have so much fun. Neither one of us have played before and we're obviously not the best...but we have a good time trying and rubbing shoulders with our team.

Thursday: Luke took half the day off so we could hit another self-serve yogurt shop, which wasn't even close to being good. NOTE to self: Yogurt city...boo!
We headed to the Budget movie Theatre to enjoy Tangled. We of course eat our weight in salty, budget theatre popcorn and leave with a fluffy belly. We make it home just in time to put the boys to bed and for me and the girls to run to the newly opened Ross a few miles down the rd.

Friday: Because I was super onery and hormonal..Luke decided to take all the kids to Arivaca and let them ride the horses for the morning so I could do what I wanted, which should of been SLEEP. But, it being Friday, my morning consisted of vball, running to the post office, the store for some JELLO & then back home for some much needed cleaning before our guest arrived for the wkend.
The family returned around 3:00pm while I was still cleaning the house and preparing to make a strawberry jello salad for a party we were to attend in a few hours.
4:30ish - Tyler & Amy Twiggs arrive for a blissful weekend that was suppose to be going to a big bday party for a family in our ward...but ended up to be a 5 hour phone call to the computer company to clean my computer of virus's. (another post is needed for this darn story).
5:30 came and went and we were late for our party...so Luke & Tyler prepared some of the yummiest Slaw-Dogs you ever tasted along with chips and jello salad.
9:00 -  stayed up late visiting, reminiscing and laughing with Tyler and Amy. What a fun fun couple!

Saturday - Breakfast of champions..regular waffles, stuffed (peanut butter/banana) french toast waffle, fried eggs and of course lots of cool whip on top.
10:00am - Madera Canyon was calling our name for a quick & easy little hike. we tried hard to find wild life but only came up with 5 little monkeys that looked alot like Luke and I. Beautiful Weather, by the way!!
1:00pm - the adults headed to a matinee movie (Red Riding Hood)...which you should all avoid watching!!
5:00pm - Luke, Tyler and Memphis fed the missionaries and watched the Jimmer take state...while me, amy and the other 4 ninos went on a promised swimming adventure to the heated pool.

7:00pm - Kids get fed and settled and the adults head to Agave,  just down the rd,  for a very nice & delicious dinner. Again....such a good time spent with a great couple. Thanks Dr. T for dinner!!
8:30pm - kids in bed and the visiting begins.
11:30pm - off to bed for everyone, except me...I crawl in the closet and finish my book that has taken me way to long to read.

Sunday - muffins and juice for bfast and off to an 8am Sacrament. Which I missed the Stake Representative presenting me to the ward for my new calling of "Assistant Stake Girls Camp Director".
NOTE to Self: Luke has a new calling as well. "Ward Mission Leader". Great calling for him, lots of extra things. Lots of opportunities to have the Missionaries in our home.
After Sacrament, Tyler and Amy head home and we all go to our various callings..I am in the Nursery with 12 little 2-3 year olds, eating goldfish, round and square crackers, reading books, singing songs, putting on sock and shoes & loving it.
11:30am - CRASH in my bed...church dress and all!
4:00pm - Dinner at the table with my wonderful family.
8:30 pm - BEDTIME!
I love my little family so darn much and had such a blast this spring break.
As much as I wanted to go home to Utah...we had a great time just staying here.
*NOTE to self: Try and get some sleep!

give me strength!

Today was a rough day for me.
Not the entire day just from about noon to 3:00pm. I had taken all the kids to our traditional Monday morning volleyball game at the church and had a great time. Not much exercise but always a ball with those ladies. Once I ran a few errands and got home I decided I would go for a quick 3 miles run while the baby was sleeping. Prepared myself by getting my ipod, sunglasses and hat and then telling the kids I'd be right back.
Before I had stepped out the front door my mind had changed and it was going to be a questionable 3 miles...maybe only 2, because the kids were here by themselves and yada yada yada, excuse excuse excuse. I got outside with my hat that from the get go was annoying me for some reason and then I realized I hated the bra I was wearing and again, any excuse or reason to not have to run the initial 3 miles I had set out to do, was crossing my mind.
I got on the road and my sweet daughter yelled out the window..."bye mom, see you later". I then vocalized to her "oh, I am only going 2 miles, so I will be back sooner". I knew at that point this was going to be an interesting run.
You see...My mind has two brains. The strong, determined and "you can do it" side and then the "oh hell rennie..go home and take a load off, today isn't your day to run or be awake" side.
My goodness...the weak side is SO strong and it makes me ANGER. Maybe I am a multi-personality person. In my mind I know I can do things. I know I am strong. I know I can do what I want to do or need to do. Then that weak side will stomp right on the face of the strong side and mush it into teeny tiny pieces. IT'S a flippin joke.
Today...I got my first mile in and just barely made the turn to continue to the next mile before my weak side took me back home. I ran the next .5 mile and could tell I was so in my head. I was getting mad and then it was wearing on me. I was distracted by everything and so ticked. At one point after stopping to walk I just stopped my feet all together and had an argument in my head between the two sides.
YEP...I am nuts!
I was determined to finish this dang 2 miles strong and running. Which I did...(but nearly died.)
I was so mad and frustrated and disappointed in myself, because I had gone farther and felt like a million bucks.
I couldn't believe I allowed my mind to be that strong when being weak.
I walked through my front door, threw my shoes off, threw my ipod in the cabinet, marched straight to the shower (huffing and puffing and pouting) and turned it on straight COLD. I couldn't believe that was so HARD. What is my deal.
I try to look in the mirror and see beyond my face. What is in there? Who is this person staring back at me?  I see this 35 year old face but the inside is just as young as a 25 year old. But I am NOT 25. So who is this person REALLY. I accept my age, I accept my body...but they seem like two different people. I could hardly look at myself today..so anger with just letting my mind close my body down...just because it was tired.
What is it that makes people tick to drive them to run marathons, or iron mans or just say no to junk food? What is it that allows their minds to just get outside their bodies and push through? I want that!!
I want to not have the constant fight in my head about wanting to eat something, knowing it's going to undo everything I just did and then just eat it in spite of myself. Seriously...I think I am crazy.
I want to just have that desire to push through. I felt like I was gaining it over the past few months. I was feeling so proud of myself with going longer distances or shortening my time or just simply enjoying running in a straight line. But today, well today just pissed me off.
NOW...what am I going to do with this.? This will be the real test for me. Am I going to stop and pout? Am I going to let this sucky day get the best of me? I want to say NO!
I have talked to a few very wise people after my mental breakdown today and I figured.
I HAVE to keep moving.

pray for this nuts-oh

Not the Temple...but a close second!

There is a place on this earth that makes my heart full.
It heals my insides and makes me feel HOME.

When I think of it...my heart gets butterflies in it, my tummy starts to do flips and I get antsy to BE THERE! My brain turns selfish a bit and I think...I don't care who goes with me...I just want to go. When I get it in my mind that I am going...either you re on board or not...but I gotta get there.
Infact, writing this post today...makes me teary eyed to be THERE! I must be homesick, slightly.
It's a place anyone can go.
It's a place that God created for us.
It's a place I could be all by myself and not feel lonely.
However, with all this said...I love love love to share it with people that haven't experienced it before, and of course I love to go with people that appreciate it as much as I do. Lastly...I love that my children love to go there.
Here are a few photos of our last few trips to my Heaven on Earth.
I hope my next trip to Utah has a few visits to this wonderful, healing, amazing place.

Who's with me?


2010 with Mom & Parkinsons




2008 with Robbie and the kids




2007 with my Parents and Lainie
early morning hike



I LOVE Zion

name change

If you could change your name..or let's say you had to change your name....what would it Be?

The cutest little girlie shoes

Have you EVER placed your eyes on a pair of shoes so darling in your darn LIFE?

My SIL is so crafty and makes these baby girl shoes and more....beanies, scarfs, head bands, adult shoes, purses, blankets & rugs. The list goes on.

Want to see some of her products? Check her out!

Oh Rocky.

Shelby: Mom, his nose is strange.

Me: Well, he is  boxer and he has gotten punched in his face for a long time.

Shelby: Look mom...see it's strange it does that. (smashing her own nose down)

Me: Yeah I know....he has been punched square in the face a few time over his life.

Shelby: Well...Rocky's nose doesn't do that.

Me: Say what? HUH?

she cracks me up!

the 14th is love day!!

I love what Valentines represents.  I don't get all crazy on the day with decor and such...but I do love feeling loved and showing love. Some people don't love Valentines and some people just out and out hate the day that celebrates LOVE.
For me...it is about love and kindness and especially kissing.

This day marks an anniversary for me and my LOVe...it marks the day that we had our first kiss. well what we called a "2 second spitless WONDER." And boy was it ever!

(I was intructed by my College Institute Dance that this is how your  kisses should be when newly dating someone...tender and spitless.) It was a big joke in our class...

The night of our First Smooch!

Little Story!
We had gone to a dance that night at the college and he drove me home afterwards. He had been home from his mission for 1.5 months and we had been dating since then, and kissing had never happened. DOn't get me wrong..I think we both wanted to smooch, but it just didn't happen.......UNTIL that night.
The night of LOVE. (oooh aahhh)
While standing in my driveway face to face he asked me a very honorable and respectful question
"Can I give you a 2 second spitless wonder?" We both giggled and then my answer of course was "YES".

And history was made right then.

3.5 months later we were married, sealing our Eternities together over the alter at the Temple with a LONGER spitless (probably not really spitless) WONDER! And it was Wonderful.

this year marks our 14TH year of kissing!

(smoochy smooch!)

NOW...13.5 yrs later...we celebrate Valentines with our 5 babies. YES, it was a great kiss!

What's for dinner?

I need some assistance from anyone that reads this.

Oh, a half a year or so ago...I came across this blog that had a weekly & monthly dinner schedule/menu for you....cute little holders that your menu would go in for the week....a wonderful way to prepare your shopping list so you didn't buy what you didn't need or what you might need or what your gonna need, one day.

I know that the blog was from some ladies, I think from Utah...but can't say for sure. The whole deal was fantastic and already prepared for you...a no brainer.

I am sure that the little holders that they made were all done in their kitchen with their very own sewing machine. Very creative and such a wonderful idea.

For the life of me...I can't remember how I found the blog and am in real need of it.

if any one knows what I am talking about....please help and leave me a comment on how to find these ladies again.

thanks

to dream or just to be, that is my question.

I have been wondering over the past few days what happens to our childhood, young adult dreams? You know the ones that we have when we are asked in 5th grade "what do you want to be when you grow up?" Or the ones that we create in our mind when we see an occupation and it mesmerizes us into knowing...."that's what I want to do when I get older".

I was struck with this thought the other day when I came across a few friends on Facebook. I remember when we were younger and I remember what their passion were.

I remember one of my friends, from High School, loved to sing. It's was a love, a talent and it was gonna be a career. Oh, and my cousin....that's all she did all day, was sing. She was in every choir class in high school and college. She sang for the old folks homes and the reunions and the assemblies and the for the birds. If any one was gonna be a singer in "REAL LIFE" it was going to be her.
Okay, then there was this one guy from college that played on the college football team. He was scrawny but had muscles and not really built for football. I would say he looked more like he played soccer. I have to add that the position he played for the football team, says it all. He played KICKER. Anyhow, he was also in my college band class. He played the trumpet and was really good. When I got to know him better I found out that he had a band. They were really good. They played music that is popular now...but was strange then. I am talking about 13 yrs ago. I knew he was going to make this a career. He didnt' tell me that...but I was sure. I suppose it was my dream for him.
Then there is this guy that wanted so badly to be a firefighter. When he grew up he went to all the little firefighter camps and clinics. I don't really know what their called...but that sounds appropriate. When he got older he still had a bit of a drive to do it. When he drove past the Firehouse....there is this slight longing to be there.
Lastly there is ME...I wanted to be a Graphic Designer. I went to college clinics and these little day camps during the summer. What happened to that dream. I still want that in my life.
I suppose LIFE is what happens. We get jobs through our friends father or our family or we just find a job that pays enough to survive....then we get stuck.

All of these people that I write about have jobs and are living that "REAL LIFE" but none of them are doing what they loved. I need to say...that these were their dreams while they were young and thought anything is possible.

At what point do we lose that? At what time in our lives do we cross this line and say "alright I am ? yrs old and now I am struck with what my parents wanted me to do...or....I am stuck because my neighbor gave me a job while going to college and now I can't move on....or...I now have a family and moving jobs to fulfill my dreams would be crazy?

Where do we lose those dreams or the drive to be happy with work. Work is a must. It's the way we better ourselves and become closer to our Heavenly Father. want to know how? READ THIS!

I know there are many people out in the workforce world that love their jobs and are very grateful for them....is it there lOVE or passion? I don't know. Are they content with where they are?
So...the next questions is...if they aren't in their dream job...what is the force that makes them content with where they are in life?

I suppose we change. I guess life that surrounds us creates a new person in us and we begin to love other things. We find that as a college student singing is fun, but playing in your garage or for old peeps...don't pay the bills. Or we realize firefighting would be wonderful...but now your older...you can't stand being HOT.
Or creating graphic art would be wonderful...but your creative eye isn't really that good.

so..I suppose we just move on.

lots of random thoughts and a crazy post....but it was just on my mind.

A must Read...please!

I found this link off a friends blog and was touched by this post.
You must read it and pass it along and then try to see beyond the surface.
But, to me, more importantly...
teach our children that very thing.

IT'S SO IMPORTANT!

click here, it's worth it...I promise!

Our 1st 2011 visitors

Did I mentioned we had our first visit from the Parkinson's? What a great time. We love having them at our home...even though it's NEVER long enough.

Maybe next time you can leave all your responsibilities at home.
thanks for coming.